How a woman can make their man more successful
Coming from a European family, where men rule the roost and women play the pivotal role of supporting their man, I am an advocate of women doing what it takes to support their families and in particular the men in their lives.
When I grew up, my father was the provider. He took out the rubbish and mowed the lawn. He fixed anything that needed to be fixed.
My mother was the housewife. She baked cakes, washed the dishes, cleaned the house and did the shopping.
Their marriage was successful until we had grown up and left school. My mother then decided to have a career and stopped doing the housework, cooking for my father and being there to support him. Now, I am not saying this is the only reason they stopped being married, but it certainly played a part and even my lovely mother agrees.
Which has me thinking... are women stopping their men from being successful because they are too 'new age?'
A recent Marketing Eye blog about 10 Ways A Man Can Be More Successful In Business was so popular our website crashed. Just kidding! It did receive triple the amount of visitors as a normal blog on the same site. Men actually rang my office to tell me how right I was about tips number one and 10. These tips cover how men should appreciate the woman they are with. It was an eye-opener for many men that simply just forget to show their appreciation.Women on the other hand are now out working for a living and tend to spend less and less time doing the traditional things that women have done so in the past.
As a woman, I want my man to be successful. Who doesn't? Seriously, we all want the men in our lives to 'bring home the bacon', to provide for us, to be our protectors and to be there when we need them. But what role are women playing in this these days?
If you are a working woman, it's hard to fit everything in. Building a career, keeping up with friends and staying fit usually ensures that there is no time left to cook a hearty meal, ask your partner how their day was, iron their clothes, make the bed or do things for them that would make their lives easier.
But I am of the opinion that if one of Australia's most successful women, Imelda Roche, can still iron her husband's shirts and cook dinner for the family at the height of her success, why are women around the world finding excuses to not do these things? Needless to say, she is still happily married and is one of Australia's biggest business success stories.
Are women today cutting off their noses to spite their faces?
Here are some surefire ways to make your husband, lover, partner or prospect more successful:
1. Shut Up! Now that's a confronting thing to say, but it is true. Stop nagging. Don't winge about your day. If they haven't picked up the towel off the floor - how hard is it to pick it up yourself? If the man in your life is being unreasonable, and making a deal about something that is plain ridiculous - shut up! Wait a few hours and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, think about how you are going to communicate it with him that will end in a positive result for both you and him.2. Wear lipstick: A good friend of mine Marise, always wears lipstick at the dinner table even if its only her and her husband having dinner. Dressing up for your man shows him that you care about how you look and want him to still find you sexy, desirable and the way you were when you first met. Also, work out, keep your body in shape and don't let yourself go. This is not only for your man - it is also for yourself.
3. Understand where he is coming from: Men are brought up to be men. That means, depending on who their teacher was, they have a whole mindset around what that actually means. Why not ask your man what it means to him and work out how you can better accomodate his needs so that your relationship benefits from a firmer understanding of what a man is in your household.
4. Let him watch the football: It's a couple of hours out of a weekend and it gives you time to do the things that you need to do. It's inevitable that every person wants time out. Women read gossip magazines or chat to their friends. Men watch football. Simple.
5. Keep the house tidy: When a man is busy, the worst thing in the world is to come home to an untidy dwelling. Clutter means confusion and places pressure on their brains. They cannot deal with it. Sure, they may have been messy before you met them, but they have learned that part of the value of having you in their lives is that you provide a home for them, not a bachelor pad.
6. Learn to understand what stress does to people: Being a man and being successful often comes with a lot of stress. Men put pressure on themselves to provide money for the family, social standing and leadership. When something goes wrong with a deal, in the office, or through no fault of their own like a car breaking down - it can be stressful. With stress, people yell, are unreasonable, say things they don't mean, don't think clearly and let any little thing set them off. If you understand stress and what it does to people, it will help you better understand your man. You will be able to provide them with the support they need to minimise the stress that they are under.
7. Don't shop until you drop: No man wants a woman that is a compulsive shopper. Improve yourself and your own self-worth by buying things that you need and when you want to spoil yourself, do it only on special occasions. Women that shop compulsively are often incredibly unhappy people with their lives and men pick up on this.
8. Listen to what he has to say: OK, if you are not in business, your eyes may glaze over as your man tells you about his day and what deals he has been working on. But sometimes your man needs to do this to provide himself with a better understanding of what he is doing and by saying it out loud, it allows them pick up on things they may have missed during the day. Also, quite often, you are the only person in the world to whom he can say "I am on the brink of signing a million dollar deal - we are going to be rich" or that an employee is pissing him off. It's amazing how valuable pillow talk really is. Additionally, if you have half a brain, you may have a perspective on what has happened during your man's day that provides 'food for thought'. He may not take up your perspective but at least it gives him one that may not be the same as his own.
9. Read: Read things that relate to your man, his business and his interests, so that when he comes home, you have something to talk about. When you attend business dinners with your man, you are able to engage with others at the table in a meaningful way. Your man will be proud and you will add value to him becoming more successful.
10. Give him lots of sex as and when he needs it: There was obviously something in the early days that had you wanting to have sex with him, so don't stop because you are comfortable or because you are married. You don't want him running away with his secretary or PR chick as so many successful men seem to do. Be sexy, and find the inner desire to want to please your man on all levels. I am sure you will be surprised at how happy it will make you too.
Some women will read this blog and be totally offended by its content. But don't be dismayed as tomorrow there will be another blog on how men can make their career women more successful. It works both ways.
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comments ( 30 )
Joyce
15 Jun 2019Absolutely. The way to nurture a marriage. Thanks for this...
ReplyCecilia
03 May 2019Thank You ! for a great ideas I will keep reading it everyday as possible and learn then doing it.
ReplyCecilia
03 May 2019Thank You ! for a great ideas I will keep reading it everyday as possible and learn then doing it.
ReplyMaria
21 Apr 2019This is SO SAD. An upbringing like this is what makes it so hard for me (27, F) to find a husband who will support me in MY career. Who said that a man who stays at home is „worthless“? What do our genders have to do with the mental capabilities that we develop? JUST SAD.
Replyx
12 Apr 2019Point 3 is definitely a MUST to consider. Considering so many intermarriages going on, it is easy to assume that the man you are with is like the men from your background which is not true and can only lead to disaster.
ReplyAbout Point 10. Hmm. Men totally agree on this. You don't want your man eating from the roadside.
mary splesson
18 Mar 2019I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored & my husband is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. After 8 years of marriage, I and my husband have been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with his mistress . I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains i felt in my heart because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wished he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help. so i searched for help online on how to move on or make your relationship work again and I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Zelmy could help anyone get back his or her ex fast. I felt that I should give him a try, since i had nothing to loose in doing so. I contacted him and he told me what to do, then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, It was really Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy. He apologized for all his mistakes and for the pains he caused me and the kids. From that day, our Marriage became stronger than how it was before, All thanks to Dr.Zelmy. He is so powerful and so i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr. Zelmy is a real and very powerful Relationship therapist, if you are here and you need your existing relationship back, do not distress all would be fine all you have to do is reach him at
Reply(zelmypriest @ outlook . com)
Fatima
11 Mar 2019This is a testimony that i will tell to every one to hear. i have been married 4 years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman cast a spell on my husband food to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2 years until i met a post where this man DR GREAT (powerfulexback@gmail.com) have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48 hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids asking for forgiveness and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self without any delay, His email: (powerfulexback@gmail.com)
ReplySomeone From Somewhere
08 Oct 2018I could use a woman like that in my life.
ReplyThat's it, gotta build a time machine and go to the 50ies to find myself a wife.
Business man
02 Oct 2018Article is written by a woman on a man's inner mind go figure let me tell you what a man really wants woman ... Hey man wants pizza of mine a man wants a good foundation a man wants to know that his wife is there forever and ever a man when he create a family and has kids a man does not want to think about what his wife is thinking in her head is his wife thinking about leaving him is his wife thinking about other things besides family a man once a woman that thinks only about family that put him and the kids first a man wants his woman to be totally devoted to him and the kids this way a man can freely think about what he needs to do and not focus on if his wife is happy if a man is focusing on his wife all the time all day a man cannot focus on business and succeed in life
ReplyTruly Supportive wife
18 Sep 2018It’s no surprise that there are so many negative replies to this article. Whenever truth is spoken, there will be extreme polarity in responses. You will hear from those who are comfortable with themselves and learning and growing and the truth resonates with them, and you will hear from those who are trying so hard to hold onto a lie and an idea of a reality that is false all so they don’t have to look at themselves in the mirror and improve. This article is 100% spot on. If a woman is fighting so hard for equality instead of putting in the effort to find the man whose vision she can support 100% and then support him in every way she can, she is losing her own identity as a woman. The feminist movement will tell you this is terrible, abusive, and outdated, but the truth is that telling a woman she has a right to be equal is in truth planting in her mind the idea that she is not equal in the first place. Real equality looks nothing like today’s American society is trying to make it seem, and when a woman can tap into her true femininity and be what she is meant to be in this world, she will find deep and true happiness that she will never find in a high powered career being “equal” to her male partners. So many men are being robbed of success because the women are being given these terrible messages. When a man finds a woman who strives to be a real woman who is not trying to be a man, he will finally be free to be the man the world needs him to be and he will achieve success reserved only for the greatest men because his focus will be able to be providing value in the world instead of being politically correct with his wife or making her feel worthy or valuable because she doesn’t feel that way inside herself. Study truly successful men, and behind them you will find an intelligent, supportive, feminine, power partner. A woman can and should be great in her own right, but her greatness will go much farther and she will be much more fulfilled and happy if her greatness is supporting a man that she has helped to build. This is the new way. This is the truth. If you’re fighting for women to be equal, you’re fighting an old fight. It used to be that women were not equal and they weren’t treated well. Now that fight is over and it’s gone too far. Now a balance needs to be found and women need to rebuild their femininity and stop trying so hard to be like men. In this way, balance will be found. This is the fight of the next generation of women. Get on this train and you will be way ahead of all your career chasing friends who are trying to be everything to everyone except to the one person they are supposed to be everything to.
ReplyCourtenay
13 Jul 2018#Honest This is all true. Any great wife knows all of these. But this is a reminder to me. It's so hard to find real content like this these days. Thanks for the amazing Article!
ReplyKatie
06 Jul 2018This was a great read! And I absolutely agree with you! So odd to see the other comments. I understand some of these beliefs are outdated but then again divorce rates are higher than ever. So it makes perfect sense
ReplyJessica
18 Jun 2018What a shame that someone so influential would post a blog like this. Women have come so far in achieving equality yet here you are posting about how women should wear lipstick at the dinner table so that your husband will "still find you sexy". I expected more from someone as switched on as you.
ReplyLAUREN
31 Dec 2016You truly need psychological help. You are nothing more than a husband doormat! My hard work and master's level education with a successful, loving and amazing husband, who's ass I did not have to kiss via "lipstick" or anything else, respectfully tell you to fuck off. You nothing more than a cheap whore trying to support your husband with a terrible blog.
ReplyAnna
07 Mar 2016Great post. I agree with every point, especially the first one! It took me years to arrive at the same conclusions.
Replymodern Woman
11 Oct 2015What a load of S**t who wrote this some middle aged man still living with his mother who looks after him as if he was still 5??? I've tried shutting up and letting him be, I've tried nagging, I've tried being the step ford wife your S***ty article proposes. What about the woman?? What about the woman who want to gauge their own eyes out so they don't have to see his shoes on the floor because he isn't a capable adult and can't do anything for himself. The woman who really try to support their man only to see him on the couch all day with his hands down his pants spending all your money while he 'runs his business'. I know it s wrong to keep score in marriages but why is it so wrong to want to have a 50 - 50 equal in everything relationship?? People like you make me sick.
Replyvisit here
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Replytime in trend
26 Oct 2013I was pretty pleased to discover this page. I wanted to thank you for ones time for this particularly wonderful read!! I definitely appreciated every part of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to check out new information on your site.
ReplyRonete
07 Sep 2013Is this article is for real or a spoof? It is so shockingly offensive on so many levels that I find it hard to believe this is for real, even though all signs show it is. Oh, and I'm European and her idea of how men and women are at home is more than 50 years out of date. All 10 suggestions are extremely worrying, but 10 - advising a woman to have sex she doesn't want - is as disturbing as it gets.
ReplyGemma
06 Sep 2013I think this is a copy and paste from a 50ies handbook and is a prank to get traffic to the site..
ReplyJoshua Danton Boyd
06 Sep 2013I'm struggling to believe this isn't a parody.
ReplyRemittance Girl
06 Sep 2013Dear Ms. Smith,
ReplyI'm pretty sure you're a middle-aged single man. The cliches and stereotyped understanding of any partnership, never mind a contemporary one, is so far from resembling anything real as to be laughable.
This reads like a misogynistic comedy sketch from the 1950s. So that's how I'm taking it.
Nice to see the 'Marketing Eye' go for cut price humour every now and then
Alison May
06 Sep 2013"Seriously, we all want the men in our lives to 'bring home the bacon', to provide for us, to be our protectors"
ReplyNo, we don't all want that. To say that we do is a pretty huge assumption about half the population. Given the sheer numbers of women on the planet, it seems far more likely that we want a whole range of different stuff. There's also some pretty big assumptions about men too - plenty of men detest football, think that lipstick feels sticky and slimy and like something you definitely wouldn't want to be kissing.
If you're in a relationship, yes, absolutely support each other's career and ambitions, and be nice to each other and appreciate your differences, but maybe do it based on your individual personalities and wants and needs, not on an overarching 'All men want...' or 'All women want...'
Rab Locke
06 Sep 2013This is truly awful, dire rubbish! Please please please, any women reading this JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING!
ReplySW
20 Aug 2013"Are women today cutting off their noses despite their faces?"
ReplyI think the phrase you are looking for is 'cutting of their noses TO SPITE their faces'.
N
14 Aug 2013I find this pretty patronising actually. I think things are more difficult for women these days if they have to work. I.e. there is no other option. There is no discussion here about how to get a man to be a willing partner instead of someone who thinks the world revolves around them. There are some ideas here, but they come straight from the 1950s!
ReplyKirsty
11 Apr 2012Being an aspiring 'new age' woman this article came as a shock at first. Although, this does bring to mind the research done with couples carrying out their appropriate gender roles generally leading to more successful relationships and marriages in the long term. Some career minded women may want it all and place a large amount of pressure on themselves to fufill all their roles. Although, when things are going well at work and things are falling apart at home this can be extremely damaging for women never feeling as though they are measuring up. I think it is finding that balance so women are not taking on more than what they can chew, even if it evolves uncomplicating their lives.
ReplyRen
28 Mar 2012Love the ideas Mellissah!!
Replyespecially reading up on his area of interests. That would defiantly broaden our horizons a bit and give us the opportunity to discuss topics more openly.
Another practical and useful blog. I couldn't agree any more with what you have to say.
Thanks again!
Jason mass
27 Mar 2012I love your article. My wife is reading it next. I left a lot o posts on your FB
ReplyCliff Kurtzman
25 Mar 2012These are great... I don't always need the lipstick and I'm more into tennis than football, but the basic idea of treating the relationship as a partnership and focusing on supporting and pleasing your partner in addition to yourself is fundamental to achieving mutual happiness.
ReplyAs someone who loves to cook, and is in fact pretty good at it, I don't think that the assumption of housekeeping duties is inherently a gender oriented activity. I do believe that if one partner is working long hours in an external job and the other is not, then the one who is not is generally going to need to step up to taking on the vast majority of the household responsibilities. Having one person work long hours while the other person goes shopping, and then trying to split the housekeeping after that, is a recipe for disaster.
I also agree with Heinlein's Lazarus Long regarding the fact that there are repercussions to the inherent biological differences between men and women. As he noted... "Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up on the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, 'equality' is a disaster."
So I'll look forward to reading part two.